good morning sunshines

let's do a quick recap of the past, oh gosh, month or so.

spring break ended. cherry blossoms began peeking out from the buds, hoping that spring was indeed here and not some nasty trick. they were a bit worried, because they were coming out about a week earlier than normal. perhaps you know the reason why. but they did come out, and following them were flocks of people armed with blue tarps and beer. this is called hanami, which literally means looking at flowers, but it's a big deal in sakura season and anyone who's anyone goes out and enjoys the beauty of the short-lived flowers.

i saw them first at himeji, before they were fully open. himeji is a big castle. it is considered to be the best castle in japan because, unlike the others, it has not been reconstructed with concrete.



i had been reading through a book of poems by the haiku dude, basho, and whenever he mentioned "cherry blossoms," he seemed to almost always mention a place called yoshino. i did some looking and it turns out that yoshino is south of nara a bit and only 2 and a half hours away. so i figure with this rare opportunity, i would go to yoshino, which has mountain sides covered with cherry trees. i was planning on going by myself if no one else wanted to go, but i was talking to this girl here named Juli who didn't have any plans so she went with me. i think this turned out to be a good thing.

it was a long trip, and it rained, but it was still fun. we sat out on Juli's jacket (anyone who doubts the death of chivalry should take note) eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and watched the cherry blossoms for a couple of hours.



jaunting down a back road a ways, we found a hillside graveyard, and almost got ran down by a car that looked like it could have been the vehicle of a nemesis of james bond. naturally, being the ever-cool guy that i am and always well aware that danger could strike at any moment, i yelped and jumped to the side of the road.



when it was time to leave, we were well wet and cold, but it was fine. we tried to dry out on the train and stay awake on the train (they release an odorless, colorless gas on trains here that causes every one to fall asleep. if you go to japan, watch the people on the train, they will fall asleep. some of them have caught on and wear masks, but sometimes the gas penetrates these flimsy filters)... talking about this and that and the other. we spent the rest of the evening hanging out, and now we are going out. spring is the time of beginnings, and under the cherry blossoms seems an appropriate place to start.

spent the next day doing the more traditional hanami with the swedes and japanese by a river lined with cherry trees. there was sushi, yakisoba and a hawk that circled low and dove down to pick up mice from the field. i think it's true intent, though, was to catch a small japanese child and raise it as its own. i saw the desire in its eyes. others didn't, and they let their kids run loose, hoping that gravity would keep them chained to the ground. they were lucky this time, but someday those children may very well break that bond with the earth. maybe we will see that day.







once upon a time, april came. spring and green and too few showers (the river nearby is drying up, we wait anxiously for gifts in tiny packages to be dropped from the sky) were the theme, and it passed very quickly. there was a trip to kobe with Juli, going out into the bay on a boat, trying to lasso the whole city in a frame from the tops of mt. rokko and okonomiyaki. i think i am addicted.

in the midst, there was also a concert. it was vooredoms and sonic youth. vooredoms destroyed the japanese shyness and swirled with a thousand drumsticks the crowd in every direction. a japanese guy pulled me into the madness.



i have now just arrived back from a short, three day stay at a zen temple outside of kyoto. run by a russian guy named gemma from siberia and german guy named bjorn under the instruction of a japanese roshi (teacher), this was different than i expected. i arrived late, but fortunately made it in time for the 5 o'clock dinner. they eat in silence and in a ritualistic manner. "watch how he does it and do the same." i began setting out my dishes. "is that how he did it?" [i]ummmm[/i] "like this." i corrected myself. you know i am a slow eater. they eat very quickly. i was still working on my food when i hear. "the others have finished, hurry." woofing down my food, i would find that eating became a race the next few days, not wanting to be caught in the precarious position of making others wait. i would make the same mistake drinking my tea too slowly the next morning during zazen. "don't make the others wait."

gemma, who was giving me all these instructions, at first appeared to me to be a strict person. and, indeed, during zazen, eating, and sutra chanting, he was very serious and sure to make sure we followed the rituals correctly. but outside of this, he was a very funny guy, who joked quite a lot and had a taste for sweets. i also could not fail to notice the irony in the fact that he smoked, despite how important breathing is in zen.

speaking of zen. zazen was excruciating. i don't use this word very often because i live a very comfortable life. and you may think sitting still on the floor for an hour is no big deal. it is. sitting half-lotus, after 10 minutes, my legs begin falling asleep. at 15, the pain begins. at 20 the pain and numbness (here's a paradox, my legs become both numb and painful at the same time) spread to the upper legs. at 25 the muscles in my legs want to spasm. i hold them in place, breathing heavily thinking, why am i here? why i am here? why won't they ring the bell. ring the bell please! at 30 minutes, there is a five minute break, just enough time for me to nurse my legs back to life before we restart this process.

while there, we did two hours of zazen a day. once at 6am and once at 7pm. the one at 6am came after our 5:15am sutra chanting. zen is difficult and certainly not for the faint at heart. i think this was a good experience, and maybe i can muster the will to continue the practice. bjorn told me that after 6 months, the pain goes away. i wonder if the pain really goes away, or if at that point, pain becomes less a bother.

the food while there was quite delicious. rice, a variety of vegetables, soup, fried tofu (i am finding that tofu, in fried form is very good. i still do not fancy it when it is in its gelatin state). i begin to wonder how it was so difficult for me to give up meat in the states. one can eat very tasty, healthy, filling food without animals. i think it is just a matter of learning to cook with a different framework. this kind of cooking, i need to learn.

i am now back, and very tired. three mornings with 4:45 wake up calls can wear one out. there was much more to this experience than i am revealing now.

we only have two days of classes this week, and then i think i am going with Juli to mt. koya, the central point of shingon buddhism, and ise jingu, the most important shinto shrine in japan.